I am trying this being positive thing.. and at times, it works.. just swimmingly. Ya know teling myself that everything is ok.. and we are fine, and then a piece of mail comes in, and inside that piece of mail is someone who wants more money. And then i feel like we are drowning again, its never this dramatic.. we aren't drowning but for whatever reason.. when the bills come in, i almost want to crawl the walls or find somewhere to hide. In the end things get paid, I stop panicing but its the initial heart palpations of how will i make this work. Ridiculious as it sounds, I can turn anything into a stressful situation. Its a gift.
Chuck got an application for BJs yesterday, mostly because the part time job while the benefits are nice (the free movies) the pay isnt cutting it. There is actually a funny story behind it, the manager sees us in there all the time, and said I am gonna put you in a vest. We laughed it off, but he went ahead and got an application, hes going to fill it out. He works three days a week someweeks.. most weeks..and that works.. but two days a week doesn't come close to cutting it. I worry that he will get overwhelmed as he has in the past with a different job, but he doesnt want me to work, and something has just gotta give. The bills in the new house are a bit higher then in the old house. But you have to trade off, we have safety, to me thats worth having grilled cheese and soup for dinner one night a week right?
Nikia and I have decided we are running away... when we get money, become independently wealthy or ya know we get enough donations (lol) we are going to Hershey PA and going to the cocoa spa. Damn.. its the new year we are dieting if we can't eat it.. we may as well lay in it, or get smothered in it right? :o)~ see.. now I found something to look forward to in 2009. Nikia and I will find a way to do a Thelma and Louise getaway (minus the driving off the cliff and the other illegal activities) just the fun stuff. Again breaking one of my rules from before no husband no kids.. but but.. honey i can explain...... honey? :o)~
More tomorrow.. because Like Sands through the hour glass.. these are the days of my life. (oooooohhh how long til I can go up against Susan Lucci for a daytime emmy? and when do I get paid like them.. I can do dramatic)