Every so often every one needs to have a good cry, today is my day. Pity party table of one. It seems sometimes for every step you take forward you go back three or four. Today I feel like I am fifty feet back. I am frusturated, and I don't know how to explain it all. Part of it is the way this morning went down. .it was one of those mornings that you just want to hide and let it pass without you. Sounds good right? Possible? Not so much. My saving grace was my mom called and let me just cry and she listened, and then I talked to Nikia and she was there for me. Thank God for shoulders cause today I needed them.
No, its not Chuck, as a matter of fact, I have warm fuzzies for him today still for getting my sugar cookie tea. I had a cup last night and remembered why I love it so. I love sugar cookies and this tea tastes like a warm from the oven sugar cookie. ok maybe lukewarm.. he got kind of pissy with Emily at 3 AM which is ridiculious since shes only 10 months and didnt want to be up any more then we wanted her to be up...and then the idea of our usual get up issues are just not fun. but other then that hes such a good man.
Its not the kids, or any one thing, today it is everything. I feel like I am going to snap, and I am almost afraid of what will come out of my mouth when it happens. I know that I am tired of being taken advantage of, but I also know its my own fault. I let it happen. I wear my heart on my sleeve and it happens. I guess my main problem is, sometimes people aren't who you think they are. And unfortunately when you realize it, there is no way to fix it. Its too far gone.
Life isn't perfect. There aren't always roses and candy, but its also what you make of it.. and I guess even with tears.. when life gives you lemons make lemonade is a very true statement.. but ya know sometimes you run out of sugar. And I feel like I am empty. I know this blog is very blah today and not funny and happy... but I just feel so done and over it.
Alas Scarlett tomorrow is another day.. a smile will come back and the sun will come out.