Just a Mother Lioness......

That's the best way to describe me today, I am ready for a fight with my brother. I am ready for him to say something insulting (he usually does), waiting for him to call me a name, waiting for him to be well himself. But I will NOT subject my children to it. I am guarding them like a hawk, keeping them out of his path, if he is one room we will move to another. If he is eating in the kitchen, then we will not. This is NO way for a family to behave, but certainly any mother can understand. I don't care if he decides to say lousy rotten things to me. Ok thats not true. I care and it bugs me incredibly bad, butI would rather he spew his venom on me then to do it to children who have NEVER done a thing to him. Mr Perfect can bite me. I am NOT going to let him get one snide remark off on my kids today, and if he thinks I am he is out of his mind. I feel like we are being forced out of my mothers house early because he is here. Because he is here and I am not convinced he will know how to shut his mouth. And God knows my sweet mother can't do anything about him because then he will turn around and say something to her. (a great example.. he calls her "The Old bag" Isn't that just lovely? What kind of a person would do that? He goes on about how rough his life is, his twin brother (also my brother) David died from AIDS in 1997, he got divorced (which was the best thing ever for him.. she was almost as sarcastic and nasty as he was) and he had to move home... he lost his kids for awhile because she lied to the authorities, in the end, he got them ALL back and now she is in Florida alone. (The "Old hag" paid thousands and thousands of dollars for him to fight her in court.) But he has a rough life... he doesn't like David because I named him after his twin.. OH the horror.. who again btw. was my BROTHER too. David is named for my brother David and my fathers middle name Erich. Oh well.. he can just build a bridge and get over it. I am not sure why he doesn't like Emily other then I remarried an amazing man who is a billion times better then my ex husband.. whos NOT a bad man hes just not the one for me, and he doesn't approve. blah. oh well. What gets me is my mother doesn't see it. She sees he's nasty but doesn't see that he treats those two so bad. This morning I fed the baby her breakfast, and we sat at the same table not a word exchanged.. because believe me I would have called him something that is not printable if he would have started..

argh.

I am really thinking of leaving today just to get away from him, but my mother is adamantly against that. She wants us to stay, probably because we don't come visit. We don't come over here because of my brother, I dread holidays, because of my brother. I dread anything having to do with him because hes a jerk. Thanksgiving he played Jeckyll.. Christmas we got Hyde. I am done. I can't deal with him anymore.

Ok.. sorry to be so down and grumpy but its just the way thing go eh?