Mental breakdowns....

Ok.. I must have fallen and hit my head or something, because I decided today to clean my room.. Its not that my room is a "mess" its that my closet looked like Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Walmart and 100 other stores all threw up. So I landed up having this ephiphany that it was a good day to sort through my room and Emilys stuff. What an idiot. I put together two trash bags of my clothes, some stuff that I won't fit other stuff that I would not wear to pick dog poo out of the yard in... some stuff I have not worn in 6 months.. It was time to go. Then I conquered Emily and well, I have an addiction. If someone offers clothes up on freecycle I tend to land up getting stuff (I know some people are repulsed by this, but when you have six kids, it works besides somehow we almost always land up with like mostly Old Navy, Gap, Gymboree and TONS of Carters stuff. She has so much summer clothes its insane. Everything from 12-18 months and then other stuff that will probably either fit or be just a little too big for this year. This after I gave away two diaper case boxes, and two trash bags. I posted both sets of clothes on freecycle and within minutes they were taken, the lady who asked for the women's clothes was just tickled, she kept telling me how desperate she was, so that made me feel good. And the lady for Emily's stuff has a daughter who is outgrowing everything so that made me happy too.

So if I did good deeds, why do I make this post Mental breakdowns? well, its now 9:11 PM. and I still have about 1/2 the room left to do. I barely took a dinner break. I ate something quick and then went back to doing this. I feel like its a neverending battle. On top of everything else.. its just been a crazy day. Last night I went to bed late, we went out for Karaoke and pool, it was alot of fun but it didn't end on the best note and today things are still a little tense. Nothing horrible.. just I think stress. Argh. Sometimes I feel like I am invisible. or maybe I wish I was invisible. Ya know? I just want to find the light at the end of the tunnel, and I keep hoping its not a Mack truck. I am so exhausted. I am on a billion different meds for "stress related hives" Do what? I tell everyone I am the most unstressed person on Earth. . I think I am crazy. I am stressed. I worry about everything and when I am done I worry about things I don't have to worry about. Its just a daily thing in the life of me. Apparently, per the dermatologist, I am going to be under treatment for months until we find the right "treatments" so right now I am on predisione 6 for 3 days, 5 for 3 days, 4 for 3 days, 3 for 3 days, 2 for 3 days, 1 for 3 days, 1/2 for 3 days. holy crap!, then I am on Atarax for itching, Allegra for who knows what? A lotion to help the flare ups, and finally.... I am being told that hey if this doesn't work we can always use Xannax. Fun stuff.. really...

So there you have it.. Tricia is losing it. With a Doctors note :o)~