Being a Mom....

I am writing today about being a mom.. .stop stop I know I am not nuts. .I know tomorrow is Mother's day, but the thing is.. tomorrow I plan to write about my mom. Today I am want to write about being a mom. Where do I start?

In 1990, I got pregnant with my first born son. As in shock as I was because I was only 18 I recovered and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy Matthew Stephen on February 21. It was love at first sight, followed by unrecoverable heartbreak when he passed away 20 hours later of CDH (congenital diaphragmatic hernia). I questioned myself from the day he passed away if I was really a mother, or just the mother of a baby who passed away. But then I was told by a dear friend "you mothered him from the moment you conceived him until the moment he went to God's arms. You are a special mom, you are a mom with a guardian angel"

In 1991 on August 21 I gave birth to my beautiful Stephanie, more specifically it was 18 months to the day after my sweet Matthew was born. She was perfect, she cried and then I cried. Matthew never cried, he never made a sound and I did not get to hold him until after he died. Holding a sweet beautiful pink baby was the best. That moment I was not just a mother, I was a mommy. I have been through good times and bad times with Stephanie, but the good far outweigh the bad. She is now 17 and the most beautiful girl, she has a wonderful soul and will do anything for anyone. Tonight as I type this she is at her junior prom, it breaks my heart to see her grow.. but it makes my heart smile to watch it.

In 1993 on December 15th, on my ex husbands birthday, a loud little boy with a headfull of brown hair made his appearance at 3 AM. To this day this boy favors the nights over the mornings, and is still loud. I kid. My Daniel was my healthy boy, my son who screamed and cried and was so sweet and wonderful to see. Today he is a 15 year old boy, we have struggled like his sister with good days and bad, and his good too outweigh his bad. While he may have his days, he is a wonderful boy who I would lay my life down for.

In 1994 on November 12th, 11 months after Danny was born Andrew (AJ) arrived. AJ decided he didn't want to come out easily. Nope. . AJ decided to bungee jump with his umbilical cord and get all wrapped up... once around a hand, around both feet.. Yep my AJ came via C-section and to this day is the most athletic of my kids. He plays baseball, he loves baseball. He is an amazing boy who has developed a love like no other for a little redhead girl named Emily. AJ is the top of the line, he will do anything for anyone anytime.

In 1998 on January 5th, Mary came, with her was my second daughter a sweet little baby who loves her daddy with a fierceness that still can not be toppled. She has grown into a skinny mini little thing with a big temper and big tude one minute and then can turn around and be the sweetest little girl the next. That is my Mary. Yes, there are days I want to print out the exorcism forms but the Vatican (kidding) but for the most part I know that when Mary gets past this stage she will be the most wonderful lady in the debris.

July 12th 2004, David. David blonde hair blue eyed handsome little boy came into our world, after a rough pregnancy but an AWESOME delivery (ok so I begged for drugs. .sue me), out came my David. Perfect. Handsome. He stole the hearts of his siblings, and his mommy and daddy from day one. We were gone.. hook line and sinker. Sure David has done things, sharpie on my walls comes to mind (thank you Magic Erasers). David has aspergers syndrome, and while that may define him to some people, his sweet heart and his gentle soul define him to me. While he may be a whirly bird with the energy of six four year olds, he is a sweet little boy.

In 2008, Our Cinco de Mayo we drank Margaritas surprise came along, on January 5th..exactly 10 years and 3 minutes from the day I delivered Mary, out came Miss Emily. Our perfect exclamation point. Chucky's first biological daughter, and believe me when I tell you the second he saw that little face he was gone. She is now 16 months old, and he is still putty in her hands. :o)~ She is a beautiful, and sweet and funny, and I love that she is my little girl. (this is right before she pulls out her ponytail.. a daily occasion.. ok hourly in our house)

So there you have it, there are the seven individuals who have made me who I am. They define me as a mommy, they allow me to throw my hat in the Mother's day ring. I love them all with my entire heart and every breath I take. I wish each of you Mommy's out there a wonderful and Happy Mother's day.