The Old Lady in the shoe has got nothing on me!

Trust me.. I mean it.

I mother six kids..in our house sanity is optional.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Letters of intent.

These are the letters I would write to different people, seasons, etc if I could. Why? because they annoy me and this is how i would tell them off:

Dear Winter-

While you and I both knew you needed to show up because the calendar said so, your stay has been too long. You may take this as your two weeks notice that I am severing my relationship with you. Please pack up your cold winds, and everything else and take them somewhere else... I hear Florida is looking for you.

XOXO-
Me
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Dear Teenagers-

I know you think that you are not required to pick up towels off the bathroom for, because that requires bending and that is too hard for you. Therefore I will leave you a roll of paper towels in the bathroom for you to use after your shower until further notice. Good luck!

Love
Mom
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Dear Fast Food people and your damn commercials--

Kiss my ass I am not eating a 28 point Big Mac.. so there! Nor will I try your new Monster omelet or the new 16 point burrito.. I am talking to you TACO BELL!! Yep, go ahead and show your commercials they have no effect on me :oP

Sincerely,
Your former friend.
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Dear TV shows this year:

All of you, I am disappointed. Really.. Conan loses the Tonight show, True Blood goes on a 9 month hiatus and now I hear that Pam Anderson is going to be on Dancing with the stars? What is this world coming to? Please try and do better next year.

Still watching
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Dear Informercials at 3 AM-

When i turn on the TV you are supposed to entertain me, not make me wonder why the hell I would want want a BowFlex at 3 AM, I am not interested in sweating to the Oldies with Richard Simmons version 510. Please find new products that entertain... the guy who does the Amwayish real estate one is creepy.. just sayin'

Me

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Dear guy in traffic with the hot car picking your nose.

The car was hot, the shades looked good, and you were golden. . til you dug for gold. That's disgusting.. GROW up!

Yep, I mean it
Me

3 comments:

Tutu said...

Oh, please don't send winter to Florida. We've had enough, thank you!

Ellemes said...

TV has not be fab this year has it? Although I'm still watching too.

And the paper towel thing - considering that for the hubs...

My Ice Cream Diary said...

Bwahahahahahahahaha.