Scenes from the Asylum

Now, I realize that referring to my household as an Asylum and I should be horribly ashamed. However, I am sure you have heard me state on numerous occasions that I have six children, my sixteen year old son has his girlfriend living with us, so that means seven kids, four of which are teenagers, one who is a preteen and has mastered the "you are so stooopid look", a five year old and a two year old. Yep, its an asylum.

Heard from Chuck: "I liked the second Twilight better because it has more man parts" LMAO Ok let's review, my husband is straight. I swear. This was sad because he was trying to point out to a good friend of ours that he preferred the second Twilight because it had more action. Ok that works.. don't worry Chuck we believe you :oP

Heard from the Oldest to her brother: "Run upstairs and get my purse" This is met with a "Why?" To which she replies "Because you want to!" of course this was news to said brother but hey now he knows huh?

Heard from the five year old "Mom I don't like Baby sauce" I said "David its apple sauce and you like apples" he replies "Yes but I like apples that don't look like they've been run over by a car Mom" Ah ok good point. .. but eat your apple sauce.

Heard from the over dramatic twelve year old to her brother "No, you can't sit there I am sitting in the princess chair" To which the question is asked "Why does it matter" Before she can reply David replies "Its not like you wear a crown" Game set match David.

See, this is how the weekend goes here.. people say stuff, I mentally write it down. I am risking life and limb for you guys ya know, my husband took pictures of me working out with the Wii Active today but he won't post them.. Right honey? um.. Right??

Letters of intent.

These are the letters I would write to different people, seasons, etc if I could. Why? because they annoy me and this is how i would tell them off:

Dear Winter-

While you and I both knew you needed to show up because the calendar said so, your stay has been too long. You may take this as your two weeks notice that I am severing my relationship with you. Please pack up your cold winds, and everything else and take them somewhere else... I hear Florida is looking for you.

XOXO-
Me
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Dear Teenagers-

I know you think that you are not required to pick up towels off the bathroom for, because that requires bending and that is too hard for you. Therefore I will leave you a roll of paper towels in the bathroom for you to use after your shower until further notice. Good luck!

Love
Mom
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Dear Fast Food people and your damn commercials--

Kiss my ass I am not eating a 28 point Big Mac.. so there! Nor will I try your new Monster omelet or the new 16 point burrito.. I am talking to you TACO BELL!! Yep, go ahead and show your commercials they have no effect on me :oP

Sincerely,
Your former friend.
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Dear TV shows this year:

All of you, I am disappointed. Really.. Conan loses the Tonight show, True Blood goes on a 9 month hiatus and now I hear that Pam Anderson is going to be on Dancing with the stars? What is this world coming to? Please try and do better next year.

Still watching
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Dear Informercials at 3 AM-

When i turn on the TV you are supposed to entertain me, not make me wonder why the hell I would want want a BowFlex at 3 AM, I am not interested in sweating to the Oldies with Richard Simmons version 510. Please find new products that entertain... the guy who does the Amwayish real estate one is creepy.. just sayin'

Me

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Dear guy in traffic with the hot car picking your nose.

The car was hot, the shades looked good, and you were golden. . til you dug for gold. That's disgusting.. GROW up!

Yep, I mean it
Me

"Do you know...."

Ok, so we have all been in that place, you head out somewhere and a life toucher (usually my husband and I am SO sorry about that!!) strikes up a conversation with you. Part of it is that my mother is a good woman who taught me to be polite, so since I am so polite normally when a life gets touched (or is being touched) I stay in the conversation. Look, I can't help it.. its my genetic make up to be social. Really..which makes me question why my husband is because well his parents aren't exactly social. (seriously.. they have seen David twice and Emily once... yea pathetic I know! but that is a WHOLE different story)....

Anyways, So you go out and you are caught in this conversation where at one point you hear "So where are you from?" I normally reply the Northern Virginia area, mostly because even though I am a Army brat I lived in 7 different areas, by 10 I had more stamps in my passport than most grown ups. (yea I know. .I hate me too) Dang what is with my shiny object syndrome today?? Ugh.. ok so We get caught up in where are you from.. blah blah blah. I have had at least on more than one occasion someone look at me and say "oh do you know the Smiths they live in Springfield?" Now, while I may know the Smith's they are speaking of. Can we review the fact that um that is 1) not a uncommon name 2) chances are slim that the Smiths lived in Springfield when I did (over 20 years ago)

Normally, I just smile and tell them "gee I am not sure I do know them" and that is good enough. I had one lady who decided she was going to make sure i KNEW the family. "but they live on such and such" Do you know where that is. "yes I know where Rolling Road is, and I would bet there are probably at least 30 Smiths on that road" but I smile and still try to desperately get away. Finally, as this poor woman's anxiety attack is about to hit an all time high, I give in. Yep, OH you mean the Smith's... from Rolling Road. Of course I know them" The woman and I than talk about how nice they are, and than with a smile on her face she turns on her heels and walks away. Probably to call the Smiths and tell them about their lovely friend she just met.

Sighs. I know I know its wrong, but what do you do? When approached by someone who will not relent? Are sure you know the family they are talking about? Do you give in? Is it like when the Jehovah's Witnesses come to the house? And all you want them to do is go away so you open the door holding a glass of wine and ask if they are interested in a mid day cocktail (ok it was just this once but they were driving me NUTS) Seriously though.. I can't be alone in this boat.. right? Right??

Things that make you go hmmm....

Why is it that when you are extremely tired you can't fall asleep but when you are wide awake you could sleep for hours?

Why is it bananas can go from green to yellow to brown in 2 days unless you want to make banana bread than they hold onto that yellow as if it was for dear life?

Why is it that before the Olympics occur you are anxious for them to come but by the middle of week two you want to know when the damn things will end and you will get your TV shows back?

Why is it that two pairs of jeans that are the same size NEVER fit the same way?

Why is it that when your teenage daughter borrows something from you and swears when you get it back it will be the exact same it never is?

Why is it that nothing feels better than a fresh hair cut? AWESOME!

Why is that the last five minutes before you wake up are the shortest five minutes in the world but when you cat nap on the couch five minutes feels like 8 hours of sleep?

Why is it that when your kid is in trouble every teacher in the building will call you .. twice.. but when they do something amazing they send home a note?

Why is it that Sportscasters for most sports have to yell to get their point across but the guys who do prissy sports whisper so low you can't hear them?

Why is it that a 2 year old can find the one thing you do not want them to have?

And finally..

Why is it that someone will want to debate something until you hit a nerve and than they want to bail on the conversation....

You might be a housewife if.....

You might be a housewife if your best shoes are flat and comfortable and your two year old now owns all your old pumps.

You might be a housewife if you have a pile of "at home" tshirts and "dressy" tshirts.

You might be a housewife if you can pay the bills, bathe and dress the baby, and write a grocery list all while on the phone with a telemarketer as you explain NO you really don't want to go visit their resort unless they want you to bring all your kids. (funny when you say "6.. and the youngest is 2" how fast they hang up)

You might be a housewife if a successful day involves nobody throwing up, nobody having any kind of explosion and not hearing the phrase "Moooommmm... come here, you've GOT to see this" :::::shutters too many times. .don't ask:::::

You might be a housewife if you can clean the house in less than an hour and can shower, shave your legs and have your hair done in less than 20 minutes ( I am an expert.. don't try this at home)

You might be a housewife if you can plan a week's worth of menus out of five days worth of meal staples because you got this and pay day is on day five.

You might be a housewife if you have ever glared at someone who had the nerve to ask you with doe eyes "Yes but what do you for a job?" Seriously walk a mile in my shoes..

You might be a housewife if you have found something truly disgusting on the floor just wiped it up and not asked questions, because hey chances are it was left for you in the first place.

You might be a housewife if you have planned and packed for a vacation with precision in less than 5 days because you are just that gifted.

You might be a housewife if you have packed up a house and moved your entire family, set up a new house all within the blink of an eye and before the new neighbors ask "when did you move in?"

You might be a housewife if you have a list of Blogs you have to read daily, Facebook you have to maintain, and numerous other activities but still have time to make lunch, plan dinner, take care of the kids because you are super Mom (just no capes.. I have seen the Incredibles!)

So the next one.. fill it in...

You might be a housewife if............

Worldless Wednesday (well almost)

I have seen this posted on countless blogs, the idea of posting a picture that to you leaves no words. It is some miraculious aww inspiring photo that just makes you go "oooooo yeeeeaaa" and today it is Wednesday and today well, I am in need of spring/summer. This winter (while NOTHING compared to Nothern Virginia where my mom lives and has had by the last count I heard 57 inches of snow and are due for more today... I really think that Mother Nature is mad about something and they all just need to start writing 1000 times each "I will not piss off Mother Nature" We have had rain.. so much rain in fact that I feel like everytime its getting bad someone is gonna yell Tsnuami!! No we are not that close to the water but damn.

So my almost wordless Wednesday post is this:

Is she kidding? Nope, shes not. That is my warped sense of humor and I find my then 4 year old peeing in the Chesapeake Bay on March 10, 2009 to be hilarious and it is the pinnacle of spring to me. Why because that means we are only about 2 weeks from Spring in my mind. Wooohooo and also because well it makes me laugh. And today I am overtired and my glee matters.. to me :o)~

and I am gonna add this, no its not spring or summer in this picture.. it was February and snowing. But we were at Great Wolf lodge and this makes me smile too. This shows me that summer will involve alot of swimming cause my fishies love it!!

And finally this, no this has nothing to do with spring or summer.. I just think little girls who let me do Pigtails are adorable! :o)~ oooh wait.. do they do pigtail bows? does anyone know??

There you have it my Wordless Wednesday (Well almost). Hope everyone has a good day and I hope spring is gonna sprung for you (and me) soon!! :o)~

XOXOX

Beautiful blogger award... for me??

Cybil over at A Big Pot Of Crazy who found me through another friends blog, gave me the Beautiful blogger award (a few days ago.. I am so sorry I am so late in thanking you!! Geesh I stink. .but in my defense.. its been a bumpy few days) Thank you so much for the award and thank you for reading my blog, sometimes I think its mostly cheap therapy and while people are out there who would want to read what I write? (don't worry its not blogger bipolar just curiousity I promise!!)


•Be polite, say thank you to the blogger that gave this to you & give 'em a linkback.
•Pass it on to about fifteen (or another creative number.. I added this lol) other beautiful bloggers that you've recently discovered.
•Link 'em.
•Notify 'em.
•Say seven things about yourself

I have 7 blogs I am going to pass this award to

A Thorn Among Roses-- her blog is always interesting, and her story is great. It is a great read and always inspiring.

Are Muffins Just Ugly Cupcakes?--if the title doesn't get you.. reading the blog will hook you in! She is such a great writer and always a good read!

Crystal said what??--although its been shortly less than forever since she blogged (*cough hint hint cough*) her blog is great!!

Diary of an Infertile Mad Woman--brutally honest wonderfully real. Sometimes she breaks your heart but only because her's is breaking as well. Great blog.

Grammy Girlfriend--I really enjoy this blog, it is fun to read and I think in person we would be friends lol

My Ice Cream Diary--whats not to love about a blogger who on her side bar tells you about her favorite ice creams? She is such a great blogger to read and so funny!

Wayne's Window to the World--What can I say about Wayne? He is a great guy from England who blogs about his life, his faith, and his love for his girlfriend Jenn. I love reading his blog, and his latest about how he surprised her on Valentine's day is AMAZING!!

So there you have it.. my awards.. now seven things about me:

1) I am obsessed with Winnie the Pooh, I have a Pooh shelf and I adore that teddy bear! :o)~

2) I have not had a Dr Pepper since January 4, 2010 if you know me you know that is a huge deal. I used to drink about 5 a day and while I miss the taste I don't miss what it was doing to my body.

3) This week my son Matthew would have turned 20, and for some reason it was so terribly hard. I explained it to a friend by saying "its not his birthday that bothers me, its the What ifs" What if he lived what would he be doing now? Loss of a child is something I would wish on nobody.

4) Wii Active's trainers need to be taken outside somewhere hog tied and beaten but that is just my personal opinion.

5) I am hopelessly in love with my husband.. I am not kidding. And I think it gets worse every year, he does so much for me and is possibly the most selfless person I know. And that is just damn sexy. (PS he has great arms too!)

6) I secretly want to be a writer but I do not think I have the talent for it. and I just can't see that anyone will want to read what I write.. low self esteem who me?

7) I am in love with the Hungry girl and most of her recipes, good for you food that tastes good.. yep she rocks my socks!!

Ok that's it.. those of you who have been awarded.. pass it on!!

Post it note Tuesday! Stick em up!

So this is new to me, but SupahMommy put this up and I found it on Rebecca's blog (I swear I am NOT a stalker! ok just a blog stalker!) anyways...Its too good to resist. So here are my little love notes for the day:

So if you go to Adventures of WannaBe SupahMommy: Post It Note Tuesday: What Will You Say Today? You can find more info but this one is just too fun not to join in on!!

Until Later!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It has been forever since I have done one of these, and well I am feelin saucy today so why not? This is where you tell people what you certainly did NOT do (but you did).. so are we ready?

I did not let me son go out of the house today wearing socks with pumpkins and witches on them because at 8:15 you pick your battles, if you are dressed and clean and on time. SCORE! Nope not me though..

I did NOT eat an extra 2 points worth of tagalongs (ok its only 2 more cookies but still) because well I needed chocolate.

I did NOT get paid back for it though when my stomach was torn up an hour later.. how uncool that the stuff I used to fill my body with now my body fights off when I NEED it.. sheesh!!

I did NOT find David in the bathroom singing his ABC's while peeing and I am pretty sure writing each letter in the toilet as he sang them (You get the visual.. please don't make me explain) Fun stuff..

I did NOT have to remind the Older boys (Again) that if you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat.. do they ever learn??

I did NOT tell my kids my husband and I were going to a baseball meeting when we went instead to dinner with my BFF to celebrate our friendiversary because let's face it, there will be TONS of baseball meetings but Mel's really busy who knows when the next dinner would be?

I did NOT sit down and gush over Twiglight with Stephanie, Mary and Crystal this weekend because I am an adult and who would gush over such a thing??

I did NOT yell at my husband this morning because his alarm clock was annoying me to have him inform me "Its your alarm clock" Whoopsie.

And finally...

I did NOT go to bed on Saturday night secretly celebrating that when my ex husband who was down visiting for the weekend and Stephanie had pizza he had orderd that I did not take even ONE bite! wait.. Oh YES I DID!! :o)~ that one I am taking credit for.. so what did you not do? Come on tell us we won't judge!

Dirty Laundry Sunday

My friend Rebecca over at Letters from Crazyville (a mom on the edge) started a new fun Sunday thing. Dirty Secrets--Laundry day. I love it. So now we get to air our dirty secrets... I had to think through all of mine... Let's face it I am a mother of six.. boy do I have dirty laundry.

Thinking.. thinking.. ah! and than it hit me....

When Stephanie was 5 years old she found a turtle outside, this thing was just not one of those "sanitary items" you want to have around. Basically I would pretty much have any other pet but this turtle. So while she was at school, we helped it to the local pond. Freeing him back to nature, it was a good deed and even more importantly it was OUT of my house!!

That afternoon she came home searching high and low for the turtle.. in a moment of panic we told her it ran away. Ok. .let's think about this. Even if the turtle had "run away" it would not have made it that far. So when she came in to tell us how much she LOVED her turtle I felt so guilty we did the ultimate in pet sacrifice.. we bought her a puppy.

Oh but see that's a whole another set of dirty laundry for next week. In the meantime... if you have't already clicked the link to read Rebecca's blog do it now!! she's just plain awesome!!

Mysteries Moms face.....

Ya know, I read friends blogs and sometimes I giggle and sometimes I cringe and sometimes I just have to shake my head and say "been there.. done that.. own the tshirt" So today's topic boys girls, Moms Dads, children of all ages (really? Go to bed... you should not be reading this!!)

Mysteries Moms face 1: MOM, this tastes gross! Try it!! as they shove a fork at you. Let's be clear. If you don't like it and you are willing to eat playdoh, paste, and assorted other odd items please do not push it towards my face and tell me to taste it. This really should not be a mystery but well it is.

Mysteries Moms face 2: How come we send 20 socks in the washer, put 20 socks in the dryer and we get 4 socks out. Where do the socks go? Is there a special place in Hell for people to match up odd socks? If so can I nominate some people to go there? Please?

Mysteries Moms face 3: Shopping for a week's worth of food on less than a normal budget. Yep, been there done that. But man can I shop. I walk into BJ's armed with my coupons, I shop and they check me out. The cashiers cringe because they know, oh yea they know.. the dollar signs in my eyes are there for a reason .. I am JUST that good. (most of the time)

Mysteries Moms face 4: How come kids think you can teleport all over the place? Mom I have baseball! Mom I have to go to the Library! Mom I want to go to the Dance. MOM! MOM MOM! See this one I can answer.. I just look at them all and call sweetly... "Chuuuccccckkkkyyyyy" Thank Goodness he comes :o)~

Mysteries Moms face 5: Toilet paper and the bathroom. You use the last of it, is replacin it that hard? I know we just had this conversation two blogs ago but for the LOVE of God!! Replace the toilet paper. (Also see: If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat)

Now there are more than just these, trust me. But for argument sake and future blogs (HAHA! that means you gotta come back :oP nah nah nah nee booboo!!) I am gonna stop it here.. but tell me. .what mysteries do you face as a Mom :o)~

Checking in.

Hello? Are you still here? Well if you are I am sorry. I owe you an apology, see life has gotten in the way lately. I have been consumed by Weight Watchers and The Hungry Girl and well my desire to let that not as big plus size girl out. So here I am. I didn't want to overwhelm you guys with all that. Who wants to read about weight loss right? AH maybe you do? Well (shameless plug warning ahead) Fighting the fatty is the new blog I can be found out. But since I am here today and not necessarily needing to toot my own horn (37 lbs!! shut up really? Yes!! Sorry I am back) So let's review the past month in casa de la Tricia aka the looney bin:

Chuck- Still works his tail off has become the most amazingly supportive husband, ok he always has been but in the past month he has come through in ways people willl NEVER know. He works his tail off and i don't think we as a family thank him enough. Thanks Chucky :o)~ (oh and Valentines day was AWESOME!)

Stephanie- Sighs. She is having it rough she is 18, full of teenage angst and so much more.. Sometimes I feel so bad for her but I just don't know how to open the Pandora's box that is her mind.

Danny- his girlfriend Crystal lives with us she is a sweet girl but at times I think she is a lost soul. I think Danny is good for her, and I think she is good for Danny. He has grown up in the past few months and I think he has left a pretty great guy in the rubble of the guy he was before.

AJ- yep, its baseball season. Yep, he's ready. Is there more to say or does that cover it?

Mary I would like to publicly apologize to my mother and father for every rotten thing I ever did. Don't worry those words "I hope you have a daughter JUST like you" are coming back to bite me in the butt. Thanks! :o)~ Seriously.. Mary is tempermental and at times mean. But other times you can look at her and see she is just so consumed by herself she doesnt know how to break out of this box that is her life. Hopefully she will find the key to open it soon.

David-- that little boy is a pistol. He will say stuff that is so far from left field that makes you want to stop and say "wait...do what?" Humor is his strong suit. and for a little boy who seemed so "unteachable" by his school last year, he has proved them all wrong this year. GOOD for him huh?

Emily-cuteness wrapped in a bow and has daddy wrapped around her pinky. :o)~

Me-I am on this awesome journey I have lost weight I work out and I feel better than I have in years! I am proud of myself for conquering my fears of the unknown, not knowing if I could do this and proving to many who doubted me and myself that I can. Each week brings new goals and so far I am hitting them. Pretty awesome huh?

So whats new with you? tell me! I wanna know!!