Post it Note Tuesday

The genuis that is Supah Mommy has created this, and I have to say I was REALLY looking forward to it all week, so without futher adieu here they are:


So if you go to Adventures of WannaBe SupahMommy: Post It Note Tuesday: What Will You Say Today? You can find more info but this one is just too fun not to join in on!!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did NOT curse the alarm clock this morning because the idea of getting out of bed was not making me feel happy.

I did not take pictures of my daughter in Rabbit ears this weekend because its soo cute

and i certainly did not do it to my friends daughter cause if one is cute two is cuter

I did NOT get told that Toy Story 3 comes out on June 10, 2010 and we HAVE to go see it "only in theaters MOM" because my five year old did not spend this weekend watching TV.

We did NOT spend the better half of our Saturday in DMV because we had to take care of stuff and nobody would wait til the end of the month well except the other 300 people who were there with us.

I did NOT witness my husband taking pictures of me on the Wii Active the other day because he does not have a death wish.

And if he did I would not put it up on Not Me Monday because this is NOT Me because I don't look that bad working on the Wii Active I swear

I did NOT barely sleep Saturday night because Emily was in a mood which than in turn made the rest of us crabby on Sunday well except Emily because she slept in.

I did not have someone call me from a private number, answer the phone find out it was a wrong number and still talk to them for five minutes. Yep, I am special.

And Finally, I did not create a new WW dessert this weekend using chocolate cake, light cherry pie filling, and seltzer (only) because hey I wanted chcolate covered cherries without the points! ok that one I Did because I just rock like that :o)~

So what did you NOT do? tell me I wanna know!!

Scenes from the Asylum

Now, I realize that referring to my household as an Asylum and I should be horribly ashamed. However, I am sure you have heard me state on numerous occasions that I have six children, my sixteen year old son has his girlfriend living with us, so that means seven kids, four of which are teenagers, one who is a preteen and has mastered the "you are so stooopid look", a five year old and a two year old. Yep, its an asylum.

Heard from Chuck: "I liked the second Twilight better because it has more man parts" LMAO Ok let's review, my husband is straight. I swear. This was sad because he was trying to point out to a good friend of ours that he preferred the second Twilight because it had more action. Ok that works.. don't worry Chuck we believe you :oP

Heard from the Oldest to her brother: "Run upstairs and get my purse" This is met with a "Why?" To which she replies "Because you want to!" of course this was news to said brother but hey now he knows huh?

Heard from the five year old "Mom I don't like Baby sauce" I said "David its apple sauce and you like apples" he replies "Yes but I like apples that don't look like they've been run over by a car Mom" Ah ok good point. .. but eat your apple sauce.

Heard from the over dramatic twelve year old to her brother "No, you can't sit there I am sitting in the princess chair" To which the question is asked "Why does it matter" Before she can reply David replies "Its not like you wear a crown" Game set match David.

See, this is how the weekend goes here.. people say stuff, I mentally write it down. I am risking life and limb for you guys ya know, my husband took pictures of me working out with the Wii Active today but he won't post them.. Right honey? um.. Right??

Letters of intent.

These are the letters I would write to different people, seasons, etc if I could. Why? because they annoy me and this is how i would tell them off:

Dear Winter-

While you and I both knew you needed to show up because the calendar said so, your stay has been too long. You may take this as your two weeks notice that I am severing my relationship with you. Please pack up your cold winds, and everything else and take them somewhere else... I hear Florida is looking for you.

XOXO-
Me
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Dear Teenagers-

I know you think that you are not required to pick up towels off the bathroom for, because that requires bending and that is too hard for you. Therefore I will leave you a roll of paper towels in the bathroom for you to use after your shower until further notice. Good luck!

Love
Mom
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Dear Fast Food people and your damn commercials--

Kiss my ass I am not eating a 28 point Big Mac.. so there! Nor will I try your new Monster omelet or the new 16 point burrito.. I am talking to you TACO BELL!! Yep, go ahead and show your commercials they have no effect on me :oP

Sincerely,
Your former friend.
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Dear TV shows this year:

All of you, I am disappointed. Really.. Conan loses the Tonight show, True Blood goes on a 9 month hiatus and now I hear that Pam Anderson is going to be on Dancing with the stars? What is this world coming to? Please try and do better next year.

Still watching
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Dear Informercials at 3 AM-

When i turn on the TV you are supposed to entertain me, not make me wonder why the hell I would want want a BowFlex at 3 AM, I am not interested in sweating to the Oldies with Richard Simmons version 510. Please find new products that entertain... the guy who does the Amwayish real estate one is creepy.. just sayin'

Me

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Dear guy in traffic with the hot car picking your nose.

The car was hot, the shades looked good, and you were golden. . til you dug for gold. That's disgusting.. GROW up!

Yep, I mean it
Me

"Do you know...."

Ok, so we have all been in that place, you head out somewhere and a life toucher (usually my husband and I am SO sorry about that!!) strikes up a conversation with you. Part of it is that my mother is a good woman who taught me to be polite, so since I am so polite normally when a life gets touched (or is being touched) I stay in the conversation. Look, I can't help it.. its my genetic make up to be social. Really..which makes me question why my husband is because well his parents aren't exactly social. (seriously.. they have seen David twice and Emily once... yea pathetic I know! but that is a WHOLE different story)....

Anyways, So you go out and you are caught in this conversation where at one point you hear "So where are you from?" I normally reply the Northern Virginia area, mostly because even though I am a Army brat I lived in 7 different areas, by 10 I had more stamps in my passport than most grown ups. (yea I know. .I hate me too) Dang what is with my shiny object syndrome today?? Ugh.. ok so We get caught up in where are you from.. blah blah blah. I have had at least on more than one occasion someone look at me and say "oh do you know the Smiths they live in Springfield?" Now, while I may know the Smith's they are speaking of. Can we review the fact that um that is 1) not a uncommon name 2) chances are slim that the Smiths lived in Springfield when I did (over 20 years ago)

Normally, I just smile and tell them "gee I am not sure I do know them" and that is good enough. I had one lady who decided she was going to make sure i KNEW the family. "but they live on such and such" Do you know where that is. "yes I know where Rolling Road is, and I would bet there are probably at least 30 Smiths on that road" but I smile and still try to desperately get away. Finally, as this poor woman's anxiety attack is about to hit an all time high, I give in. Yep, OH you mean the Smith's... from Rolling Road. Of course I know them" The woman and I than talk about how nice they are, and than with a smile on her face she turns on her heels and walks away. Probably to call the Smiths and tell them about their lovely friend she just met.

Sighs. I know I know its wrong, but what do you do? When approached by someone who will not relent? Are sure you know the family they are talking about? Do you give in? Is it like when the Jehovah's Witnesses come to the house? And all you want them to do is go away so you open the door holding a glass of wine and ask if they are interested in a mid day cocktail (ok it was just this once but they were driving me NUTS) Seriously though.. I can't be alone in this boat.. right? Right??

Things that make you go hmmm....

Why is it that when you are extremely tired you can't fall asleep but when you are wide awake you could sleep for hours?

Why is it bananas can go from green to yellow to brown in 2 days unless you want to make banana bread than they hold onto that yellow as if it was for dear life?

Why is it that before the Olympics occur you are anxious for them to come but by the middle of week two you want to know when the damn things will end and you will get your TV shows back?

Why is it that two pairs of jeans that are the same size NEVER fit the same way?

Why is it that when your teenage daughter borrows something from you and swears when you get it back it will be the exact same it never is?

Why is it that nothing feels better than a fresh hair cut? AWESOME!

Why is that the last five minutes before you wake up are the shortest five minutes in the world but when you cat nap on the couch five minutes feels like 8 hours of sleep?

Why is it that when your kid is in trouble every teacher in the building will call you .. twice.. but when they do something amazing they send home a note?

Why is it that Sportscasters for most sports have to yell to get their point across but the guys who do prissy sports whisper so low you can't hear them?

Why is it that a 2 year old can find the one thing you do not want them to have?

And finally..

Why is it that someone will want to debate something until you hit a nerve and than they want to bail on the conversation....

You might be a housewife if.....

You might be a housewife if your best shoes are flat and comfortable and your two year old now owns all your old pumps.

You might be a housewife if you have a pile of "at home" tshirts and "dressy" tshirts.

You might be a housewife if you can pay the bills, bathe and dress the baby, and write a grocery list all while on the phone with a telemarketer as you explain NO you really don't want to go visit their resort unless they want you to bring all your kids. (funny when you say "6.. and the youngest is 2" how fast they hang up)

You might be a housewife if a successful day involves nobody throwing up, nobody having any kind of explosion and not hearing the phrase "Moooommmm... come here, you've GOT to see this" :::::shutters too many times. .don't ask:::::

You might be a housewife if you can clean the house in less than an hour and can shower, shave your legs and have your hair done in less than 20 minutes ( I am an expert.. don't try this at home)

You might be a housewife if you can plan a week's worth of menus out of five days worth of meal staples because you got this and pay day is on day five.

You might be a housewife if you have ever glared at someone who had the nerve to ask you with doe eyes "Yes but what do you for a job?" Seriously walk a mile in my shoes..

You might be a housewife if you have found something truly disgusting on the floor just wiped it up and not asked questions, because hey chances are it was left for you in the first place.

You might be a housewife if you have planned and packed for a vacation with precision in less than 5 days because you are just that gifted.

You might be a housewife if you have packed up a house and moved your entire family, set up a new house all within the blink of an eye and before the new neighbors ask "when did you move in?"

You might be a housewife if you have a list of Blogs you have to read daily, Facebook you have to maintain, and numerous other activities but still have time to make lunch, plan dinner, take care of the kids because you are super Mom (just no capes.. I have seen the Incredibles!)

So the next one.. fill it in...

You might be a housewife if............