Fair Winds and Following Seas.....

This is how you bid farewell to a sailor when they are departing, today we said this to Chuck's old ship. The USS Nashville, LPD 13 was decommissioned today. Its amazing how much I hated that ship at times when he was on it. Mostly because it kept us apart, but also because the damn thing broke down so often. Yet today, I could not help but get a little choked up to see the rails manned for the last time. To see the crew disembark one last time. They will go off to different commands, my own husband already had moved on a few years ago. Today we saw some people we knew from a few years ago, their hair is a little longer, and a little grayer but they fondly said hello. On this day, when hello and goodbye were said at the same time.

The USS Nashville, LPD 13 was first commissioned on February 14, 1970 and decommissioned today September 30, 2009. The ship had 39 plus years, and I know each inch of that ship could tell a story if it could talk. I know there are parts of GSK (my hubby's old shop) that could talk *ahem* and probably tell a story of its own or two. (NO NO NO not sex!! not on the ship I swear! but he used to hide out, smoke when he was not supposed to, sleep probably when he was not supposed to, and well I am sure there was porn involved (hey.. he's a guy.. and sometimes it gets lonely ;o)~ lol)

During our one deployment while that ship was gone, I sent that man a few letters (214) yep. you are thinking "how long was he gone?" four months. I wrote every day sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. When I went in to mail about 10 cards to him, the postal worker said "really? how many do you mail him each day?" I looked at her and smiled and said "Did you notice we did not have a postal increase this year?" she replied "Yes" I said "you're welcome" :o)~ For my 214 letters I got 12 in return .. hey male to female ratio I think that makes us about even doesn't it? I sent him care packages (3 of them) he sent me some in return ( a shirt, a hat, 2 pens, and a really cool candle holder that was a ying and yang) my poor spouse got in so much trouble with other men on the ship.. because he was "making them look bad" Good for him ;o)~ oh wait! he sent me flowers twice too (I think it was the last time I got flowers from him), once for mothers day and once for Valentines day. Hmm maybe i need to deploy him again.. he was so sweet then.

There was the trip the ship had to New Orleans, to help with Mardi Gras (read as: to get drunk daily and party like it was 1999). Chuck called me one day "baby I am going out with Jim and Shane (two irish men.. TWO drinkers.) I was nervous. I said have fun. My next phone call 15 mintues later "I just wanted to call and tell you I looooovvvvveeee you" how many drinks have you had "Just a couple of shots" ok... I love you too honey" then i told him "I am gonna go take a shower honey call me later ok?" he replies "ok baby I loooovvveeee you" I get my stuff head to the shower.. i am there no more then 15 minutes.. the phone rings again "Hi baby.. do you know how much I looovvvveee you" me giggling "Yes honey.. i really do want to shower" him "oh ok I will talk to you later i love you" we hang up. my next call 15 minutes later Shane calls me "Hey Tricia, its Shane we are gonna take him back to the ship" Yep, my husband the heavyweight :o)~ lol he called me later, he was fine he slept it off, I am still not 100% What all he drank that day but suffice to say I would bet it was a LOT. :o)~

So while we say goodbye, our memories are forever... with fondness we bid the USS Nashville a fond farewell and wish her fair winds and following seas.

Anxiety..

In the past few weeks, I have felt like I am in a well, just clawing to get out. I have no idea what is wrong or what is going on in my mind, it just feels like it is running in over drive. The kids are good and healthy, they are behaving which is not just nice.. its wonderful. Chuck is good in school working his hind parts off as always. Again nothing really bad.

So what is wrong with me? I am lonely. What? did she just say she's lonely? Yes. She did. She knows she has six kids? Yes she does. And a husband? Yes again she does. And a mother who calls her 8 billion times again. Ok ok she gets it. .but thats not it.

I feel all alone, and no I do not just mean during the day when it is just me and Emily in the house, we are not talking about physically lonely. More so, I feel like I am not here... and I know I am not making a lot of sense. But I have to get this out. I can be somewhere, even in bed. Have someone within touching distance, but its like i am invisible lately. I can say something and it is missed. What do you do? Aside from dance jump run hop what do you when you feel like you are not really there?

Ugh..

Evil genuises, coffee,Mondays and hello fall!

This morning, as we were getting ready for the hustle and bustle of school, my 5 year old son looked at me and informed me that when he grows up he is going to be an evil genuis. I said "really?" he said "yes Mom, its the perfect job for me" as I sat there with visions of my son making the bwahahahahaha noise. I noticed his face was dirty so as he was talking to me, I grabbed a diaper wipe and wiped his face off. he blew his stack as he informed me "MOM! Evil Genuises do NOT get their faces washed by their mom!!!" I tried to stifle the laugh that I could not help, as I envisioned his anger if I had used mom spit (Which we all know could clean the chrome on a bumper). Instead I said "Well I guess you will have to stick with being the hero then. "Thanks mom. .you ruined me.. thanks" He left the room perturbed, I fell on the floor laughing with his sister. Another evil PLOT foiled!! BWAHAHAHAHA

Coffee. Today it is my lover, my best friend, and my confindant. As everyone else left the house the coffee had not been made. So I saddled into the kitchen and made a 1/2 pot of coffee. I gingerly poured my creamer (pumpkin spice. HELLO Fall!! (please see below) I sipped the coffee, I ran my finger around the rim of the mug, and I enjoyed this moment of bliss as I knew this today is my Nirvana.. ahhh.. Coffee

Yep, its a Monday. I knew as soon as my eyes open that without a shadow of a doubt.. today is a Monday. Why? because so far I have heard a conplaint or generalized complaint from every member of the family.. Some of them more then twice. Why? because they are incapable of having a happy Monday, instead we all walk around with a scowl on our face. growling.. contemplating Mondays impending doom. Yep, its a Monday.

As we put away the shorts and pull out the long pants. We put away the cute tank tops (don't be scared I don't wear them.. Emily does) and pull out the short sleeve to long sleeve shirts.. We start wearing more socks and sneakers and less sandals.. we start to make big pots of chili or stew instead of grilling out. We bid Goodbye to the warm weather and the beach, and say hello to fall and the leaves. Goodbye Summer, don't stay gone long!

On that note I am off to the bus stop with my Drama Queen, my evil genuis, and the one who is determined to make me drink the entire half pot of coffee today.. alone.

So... anyways.....

In replacement of This and That is "So... anyways.." which is how my 18 year old normally tries to get out of a conversation, or if someone interrupts her. It is a tension breaker it avoids keeping a conversation you do not want to continue from going on....so anyways...

We have 8 billion toys, when I start going through them to concentrate on tossing some or giving some up on Freecycle, my kids decide that toys they have not looked at or touched in a year or so are now their most favorite and omg mom don't get rid of that.. I will DIE without it! Yep, drama. So now my new plan... do one bag every two to three days while they are at school... maybe then I will have less of Toys R Us.. in time for well. Christmas.. ugh..

So Anyways..

So I can't hep but notice that everyone is pregnant right now, well except me and some friends who I reall wish were. and I am soo ok with that. I love new babies, I love the smell, I love the feel of little feet and arms, and I love being around little bitties. But. I am so done. Emily is the perfect exclimation point to my family. She is a bit over the top.. makes me fear those teenage years. ugh..

So Anyways...

I have decided if it was possible to fight about having nothing to fight about, my kids could do it. most definitely.. they love each other someties but would rather kick and scream most of the time.. some day they will miss this time they have.. some day they will grow up and wish they got along. I know.. because I am now. I miss having my brothers around me.. but will they listen to me? No chance..

So Anyways...

I miss my dad. There I said it. I miss having him here for my mom, when she cries and I can't fix it, I can't make it better. I miss that he can't hug her and tell her things will be fine. Why does God feel the need to take good people before its time? Even if it was his time, if his number was up, what about the rest of us who were NOT ready to let go. Why weren't our feelings considered? What the hell is wrong with this picture??

So Anways..

I am going to make chicken sandwiches, mozarella sticks and fries.. there is NOTHING of this meal that has nutritional value, but ya know what its ok. The kids will eat, they will enjoy it... who are we kidding I am a fat kid. I will enjoy it. Then tomorrow I will wake up and wonder why I can't lose any weight.. and remember its beause I am an idiot...

So Anyways..

Now that I posted a depressing blog that changed topics all over the place, I am going to go make the bad for you dinner, followed by an italian lemon dessert (also bad for me), and just realize ya know sometimes.. its ok to be bad. Right? Its comfort food and hey why not ;o)~

Have a good day!!

The AH HA moment.

You know that moment when you conquer something you have been perplexed by... better known as the AH-HA moment. Think about it, there is something you have tackled when you were done you threw your hands in the air, you did that embarassing dance that your children still hope to GOD their friends never never ever see, yep that is the AH-HA moment. Now obviously I have had one. .so what is it? Oh come on, I am max 60 words into this blog post. .I am not saying.. yet. Be patient.. play some elevator music. do something.. or keep reading. Yes, thats it keep reading. Ok so its more then 1 AH-HA moment its been a few so let's go ahead and list:

1) I realized that any toy that is still around from my age is now an antique or referred to as vintage. One such toy I am looking for is Fashion Plates, I think Mary would love them. So I Ebayed them and found a set... I found if you look for vintage its 29.99 but if you look for Fashion plates 9.99 AH-HA! one word.. and I save 20 bucks. .OH HAPPY DAY!!

2) I found that if I get up in the morning, straighten up the rooms, clean up the tasks that lay in front of me and then settle down for 15 minutes of reward computer time, at the 15 minute break I am ready to get up and do something else. AH-HA! See? How this works??

3) I have learned that I am not alone in the "My husband snores so loud, the neighbors called to tell me to tell him to roll over" (ok not yet but it has to be coming).. Apparently there are quite a few of us (cough. .and a new facebook group in the works lol) AH-HA!

4) I have learned that little girls with big bows in their hair (contrary to my old belief) are not ridiculious but they are absolutely adorable. And this may or may not be because Emily wears bows but she is so stinking cute!! OMG! you should see her!! ok AH-HA!!

5) I have discovered that people who are new to Freecycle,Craigslist, and ok the internet in general need a lesson about TYPING IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS!! oy vey.. are you serious? They drive me nuts.. ugh.. but ahem AH-HA

6) Lack of blogging is because summer time activities + 6 kids home + 8 billion things to do = No time to blog. Kids in school + Just me and Emily = Some extra time. AH-HA!! Is that good enough for an I am sorry? I will try and get back here more. I promise!

See AH-HA moments.. there really are not alot of them but they are there. You just have to kind of watch for them and when they happen you just gotta say AH-HA!

There now you have had an AH-HA moment ;o)~ You are welcome.

September 11, 2001

Where was I? That day, I was sitting in my house preparing to go stalk Garth Brooks in Washington DC.. ok there I said it. I said it loud and I said it proud. We were watching the Today show, and that is when we saw it. One of the Twin towers got hit. My phone rang it was my mom "You can't go to DC today, a terrorist plane just hit the Twin towers" As I was telling my mom she was crazy....

The second one got hit. Holy crap. We watched them fly directly into the World Trade Center. My stomach dropped. Why would someone do this? My friend Arlene's husband called and told her to come home NOW. She packed her stuff and left for Virginia Beach. Mel was on her way from Portsmouth to my house, we had never met face to face and she was on her way. She called the house and we talked about what had just happened.

We were talking about it and then our windows shook on our house, we lived 8 miles from the Pentagon and our house shook. I sent my ex husband out to get the kids from school, if we were gonna die, we were going to die as a family.

The news upgraded the Pentagon was hit, and a fourth plane had crashed in a field in Pennsylvania. So many people died. So many families lost vital members of their lives.

We were under attack. But these cowards, did it with our planes, they did it and left "notes" that when they were found no woman was to touch their bodies. what made them think ANYTHING would be left?

Jerks..................

I hope if they found anything they only let females touch it. I hope when they got to their final destination they were prepared for such a WARM reception. ugh.

Martyrs my ass.

Everyone we know called to check on us, even Chuck <3.>

So much has changed in 8 years, I have gotten divorced.. remarried.. had two more babies but still my heart breaks from the events of September 11, 2001. My prayers are with everyone effected that day. May God bless you and keep you always.

No wait! I can explain!!!

See this summer started to run away, and before I knew it we were school shopping and doing running around and trying to suck in the last bit of sunshine before we had to pull out our jeans. Yep, I got last in the last few days of summer. But I am back, ok? Forgive me? Please? I promise in the future I will not be gone as long. I know I know "But you said that a few weeks ago..." and you are right I did. But I have to come back, its time to vent about school teachers or homework issues. (already? oh yea.. trust me)

I started going through old pictures of my family, my goal is to try and put most of them online, but I have had little time to work on it. Unfortunately, my intentions are fabulous my time frame is eh. But the positive glee from my mother is making this chore worth it, she is so happy to see pictures she has not seen. They were delegated to the basement and under the steps, mostly because nobody knew what to do with them. Then I started to read up on scrapbooking, my first job is to get rid of all those lovely 1970's scrapbooks that are 1) ugly and 2) made with those gluey sticky pages. ugh. Time to fix that. I can do it... its just gonna be til Christmas til I finish.

Ok.. school. you ready? Stephanie is a senior she is in love with everything about high school, of course she is. Her eye is on the prize. :::pomp and circumstance music:::: graduation. Danny is no longer a maggot, he is now a worm (he's a sophmore) he likes to remind AJ he is higher on the food chain.. in my book maggot or worm either way a bird can eat em. Just sayin'. Mary.. I think she will make it through fifth grade. She has come home smiling each day.. last year by day two EVERYONE hated her and she was going to quit school .. drama my kid? never. David. sighs.. the teacher and I have already had words and I probably overreacted (record that. I will never say it again). We talked about it today, and as long as he learns to not be a butthead in class he should do just fine.

Emily and I are home and she has now become my parrot. Mel said to her the other day "tell Mama to hush" she says "hush" so now whenever I tell her something she doesn't like she says "MA hush" . She's spunky but she's sweet. One smile and kiss and dammit. I am done.

Chuck is still working his tail bone off, and going to school. I help him out as needed, give my two cents.. who are we kidding I give him a buck.. sometimes a buck fifty. So far its been Straight A's.. Here's hoping the big kids take after him huh? Just sayin'. Ok. more soon. I will not promise tomorrow but soon.